The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an
early
retirement bonus.
They promised any general who retired immediately his full annual
benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between
any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to
select any pair of points he wished.
The first general was from the Air Force. He asked the pension clerk
to
measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He
walked
out with a check for $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked the pension
clerk to measure from
the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked
out
with a check for $960,000.
The third general was a tough old Paratrooper from North Carolina. He
told the
pension man, "Son, I want you to measure from the tip
of my weenie all the way to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the
general might like to
reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous
two generals had received.
The Paratrooper insisted, "No sir, you heard right.
Go ahead and measure."
The pension expert said that would be okay, but that he'd better get
a
medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em.
He did.
The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's
wiener
and began to work back.
"My God!" he said, "where are your testicles?"
"Vietnam," the general replied.
rex
