Madcombinepilot wrote:A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam "Now, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the lecture smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and says sweetly : "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Madcombinepilot wrote:A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring:
"My darring" he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise
you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Whatchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request.
She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wanna ... numba 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries.........
"You want... Beef wif Bwoccori?"
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