Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby BurningBeard » Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:48 pm

The Brown Knight wrote:I guess the ultimate message I'm trying to relay here folks, is this: Be cool. Stay in School. And don't trust ANYONE that plays Chinese Checkers.

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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Topper » Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:59 pm

Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Strangelove » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:01 pm

Topper wrote:In

_E
Van
_s
_t

I'm shocked.


LOL and now I see it right away...

To all you kids out there, steer clear of the demon alcohol!

Yeah, weren't many Christians in East Van back in the day Topper.

And there were plenty of godless chinamen/dagos/etc.

Don't have any Chinese Checkers stories... but I... do... have a Chinese Chess story. :)

I was visiting that same Chinese buddy one evening once upon a time.

He had a brother who was a few years older than us (think I was about 15 at the time).

Anyway, somehow, someway, I end up in a game of chess with buddy's bro.

Buddy's bro was a total asshole btw.

Now, I had a lot of experience playing chess growing up.

My big brother was actually an evil genius.

NOT kidding about him being a genius.

And he was pretty evil in that he just loooved to kick my ass in chess (hundreds of straight wins for him).

He showed zero mercy, said this was the best way for me to learn. :look:

So yeah, I was used to playing defensively and taking a beating.

Slowly I learned to launch short-lived offensive forays.

Anyway, back to the story...

Buddy's bro was taking great pleasure in whittling me down.

He was claiming piece after piece while I went into a completely defensive shell.

I was pretty high on Mary Jane at the time btw.

Somewhere along the way I noticed I had a bishop in position to travel the length of the board.

.... to a spot two diagonal squares away from his king! :crazy:

This square was one of the few unprotected squares around his king

(well sometimes that spot would be accidentally protected as he moved his offensive pieces around my end).

His king was mostly surrounded by his own pieces, so him moving out of check would be impossible.

In other words, a checkmate.

But buddy's bro was of course constantly putting me in check.

You know how it goes: Takes my rook "check", I move my king, takes my queen "check", move my king.

So I waited patiently for a turn where I wasn't in check and that square wasn't accidentally guarded.

It came when he was one move away from finishing me off.

I moved my bishop the length of the board and matter-of-factly said "checkmate".

Buddy's bro leapt to his feet in shock and anger!

He stared at the board intently and then gave me the evil eye and silently walked away.

Don't think I ever saw that sumbitch again.

I guess the ultimate message I'm trying to relay here folks, is this:

Be cool. Stay in School. Don't drink. And rip the enemy's heart out at the first opportunity. :drink:
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Topper » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:11 pm

Oh please, tell us your bocce stories too.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Strangelove » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:22 pm

Topper wrote:Oh please, tell us your bocce stories too.


Chess is much more exciting.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby The Brown Knight » Fri Nov 08, 2013 6:53 pm

"I post the Brown Way" ~ Connor McHindu"

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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby RoyalDude » Sat Nov 09, 2013 2:55 pm

I wonders if Spiderman keeps his pom poms in the same drawer as his karategi and black belts.

I don't laugh at too many threads, but this one I did, a big full belly laugh.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Island Nucklehead » Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:33 pm

BurningBeard wrote:
The Brown Knight wrote:I guess the ultimate message I'm trying to relay here folks, is this: Be cool. Stay in School. And don't trust ANYONE that plays Chinese Checkers.

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Well played, BB.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby damonberryman » Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:39 pm

I found at my age of 63 that such things as kung fu and Korean martial arts are just too fucking energetic so I have been doing a style called Uechi Ryu also known as Shohei Ryu. Obviously by the name it is Okinawan but it is made to inflict max damage with less grace so at my age where spinning back kicks would be seen coming a year away by a good trained fighter, using a combo of hard and soft technique works. Also there are many take downs and joint locks.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby The Brown Knight » Sat Nov 09, 2013 6:52 pm

damonberryman wrote:I found at my age of 63


Damonberry,

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think speculation is fairly certain that I would most likely defeat you if we ever engaged in a battle of fisticuffs. I'm 32 years old and have tremendous cardio (I.e. I train for marathons), and I have pretty good strength for someone my size ( I weigh 157 lbs, but am at 9% body fat).

I think it's admirable that at the age of 63, you are keeping in good shape with your Martial Arts, but I like my chances 9 times out of 10 if we ever duked it out.......and to be quite candid, I think 9 times out of 10 might even be a little but generous.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Arachnid » Sun Nov 10, 2013 11:07 am

damonberryman wrote:I found at my age of 63 that such things as kung fu and Korean martial arts are just too fucking energetic so I have been doing a style called Uechi Ryu also known as Shohei Ryu. Obviously by the name it is Okinawan but it is made to inflict max damage with less grace so at my age where spinning back kicks would be seen coming a year away by a good trained fighter, using a combo of hard and soft technique works. Also there are many take downs and joint locks.


Well good for you D-Man. I am familiar with Ryu. I will look into it a little further to see if there is a Dojo nearby.
As my Aikido Sensei taught us, age and physical shape are in no way an impedance to health and happiness. He showed many young posers that technique and spirit make up for brawn and stupidity.
I imagine you have ulterior motives in doing so as well. Perhaps protecting a loved one from harms way. There are some very very ugly people out there. Our grand daughters need governance and someone to stand up to the bullies and pedophiles. People who treat woman terribly as they harbour ill towards them because they have been shunned by them all their live. I imagine even their own families have ostracized them :(

So keep on with the discipline. Ignore the weak threats of cowards. With a combination of Ball Hockey and Martial Arts I am very much enjoying my middle age. Throw in some asshole behaviour (on here and in hockey-the young'ns hated me yesterday, I was in fine Pronger-like from) and it's all good :D
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby The Brown Knight » Sun Nov 10, 2013 11:43 am

Strangelove wrote:
Topper wrote:In

_E
Van
_s
_t

I'm shocked.


Fuck Topper, I'm WAY too drunk for this!

LOFL maybe it'll make sense in the morning...



Hey Strangelove,

Just got a question for you. My memory is kind of fading now, but I seem to recall you visiting Havana Cuba back in 2000/2001? (Like I said, I can't quite remember........might have been someone else).

Anyway - if it WAS infact you, I was wondering if you knew much about Havana Cuba? I know it's communist obviously, but isn't it really close to the Tropic of Cancer?

The beaches there are probably quite nice. Anyway, my cousin and I are planning a trip to Cuba around December. My cousin is the man......the CC man! He's the kindest and dearest dirt ball that this here darn ball ever had. 8-)

We'll be taking our girlfriends there with us. As it turns out, he has some extra money to play with since his girlfriend is divorced and has a steady flow of alimony "residual" income coming in every month, lol.

Anyway Doc - please advise. I might have you confused with former poster Frank Anderson, but thought I'd check.
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby The Brown Knight » Sun Nov 10, 2013 12:01 pm

RoyalDude wrote:I wonders if Spiderman keeps his pom poms in the same drawer as his karategi and black belts.


Probably not. Gotta have plenty of room for the vibrator eh? ;)
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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby Strangelove » Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:03 pm

The Brown Knight wrote:Hey Strangelove,

Just got a question for you. My memory is kind of fading now, but I seem to recall you visiting Havana Cuba back in 2000/2001? (Like I said, I can't quite remember........might have been someone else).


The Great Strangelove would never support Cuba with the Great Strangelove's tourism dollars...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_Cuba

But please don't feel bad about about your money going toward new & improved torture devices.

Hey, just forget about all that and have a great time! :mex:

BJs are free if you simply threaten to report your resort chambermaid for browsing the 'net on your laptop!

She'll go home to her hut happy because hey at least she didn't end up in prison being starved & beaten!

The Brown Knight wrote:I might have you confused with former poster Frank Anderson


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Re: Does Anyone Know Martial Arts?

Postby BurningBeard » Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:24 pm

A Cuban lady once told me their problems "are not political". I never did figure out what she meant, and I left her house via the back door, hopping over a concrete wall, as the Cuban police were waiting outside the front. A lot of trouble to go to just because my wife wanted her hair braided. :)
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