Dear US Border Guards...

The primary goal of this site is to provide mature, meaningful discussion about the Vancouver Canucks. However, we all need a break some time so this forum is basically for anything off-topic, off the wall, or to just get something off your chest! This forum is named after poster Creeper, who passed away in July of 2011 and was a long time member of the Canucks message board community.

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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:01 pm

Whats wrong with me then! I lived at Haynes Point in Osoyoos for a few years and they:
Took my door moulds off my truck
Deflated my spare and looked inside
swabbed all my shit looking for whatever they could find
made me pop up my tent trailer and went through every single last hidey hole
asked questions that always circled back on themselves to make sure I dont trip up somewhere
basically harass the fuck out of me every time I go or come via ground or air

I have no criminal record
I dont even have a speeding ticket actually
I have 1 seatbelt fine from 15 years ago
I have worked and paid taxes my entire adult life

I feel like I should go do something to justify all this crap!
Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Cornuck » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:05 pm

I'm heading up there for a trip next week and get to play the game. Should be fun! :D
Over 40 years of pain - I just want one day of glory.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby ukcanuck » Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:05 pm

Uncle dans leg wrote:Whats wrong with me then! I lived at Haynes Point in Osoyoos for a few years and they:
Took my door moulds off my truck
Deflated my spare and looked inside
swabbed all my shit looking for whatever they could find
made me pop up my tent trailer and went through every single last hidey hole
asked questions that always circled back on themselves to make sure I dont trip up somewhere
basically harass the fuck out of me every time I go or come via ground or air

I have no criminal record
I dont even have a speeding ticket actually
I have 1 seatbelt fine from 15 years ago
I have worked and paid taxes my entire adult life

I feel like I should go do something to justify all this crap!


clearly youre not normal. obvious terrorist material. who doesnt have at least a speeding ticket??
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby dbr » Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:49 pm

Uncle dans leg wrote:Whats wrong with me then! I lived at Haynes Point in Osoyoos for a few years and they:
Took my door moulds off my truck
Deflated my spare and looked inside
swabbed all my shit looking for whatever they could find
made me pop up my tent trailer and went through every single last hidey hole
asked questions that always circled back on themselves to make sure I dont trip up somewhere
basically harass the fuck out of me every time I go or come via ground or air

I have no criminal record
I dont even have a speeding ticket actually
I have 1 seatbelt fine from 15 years ago
I have worked and paid taxes my entire adult life

I feel like I should go do something to justify all this crap!


Do you look like a hippy or a faggot?
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Strangelove » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:00 pm

Uncle dans leg wrote:Whats wrong with me then!


The NSA has red-flagged you due to the content of your posts.

Uncle dans leg wrote:I feel like I should go do something to justify all this crap!


:shock:

Oh fuck man, you're gonna regret posting that....

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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:40 pm

dbr wrote:
Do you look like a hippy or a faggot?

uh... I don't think so :mad:

Ask Rats...do I?
Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:42 pm

Strangelove wrote:
Uncle dans leg wrote:Whats wrong with me then!


The NSA has red-flagged you due to the content of your posts.

Uncle dans leg wrote:I feel like I should go do something to justify all this crap!


:shock:

Oh fuck man, you're gonna regret posting that....

You gonna take a run at the other socket now strangler?

Since I now know you are a former Clark Parker...wanna go curb stompin?
Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:14 pm

ukcanuck wrote: who doesnt have at least a speeding ticket??

Ones who *liked to smoke heaps of ganja....who else?

*piss testing has seriously harshed my buzz tho
Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Topper » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:29 pm

Do what Aaron and I do. Be ready.

windows down,
sun glasses off,
radio off,
passports ready and open to picture page,
turn the engine off when you get to the kiosk,
be polite, nothing wrong with a "good morning, how are you today?"

Clean up the interior of your vehicle before you go. Doesn't have to be spotless, but get rid of the drive through bags from last month and other garbage. If you are only going across the line for a few minutes or hours, travel light. Ask yourself, why am I carrying this to a foreign country?
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Uncle dans leg » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:57 am

Topper wrote:Do what Aaron and I do. Be ready.

windows down,
sun glasses off,
radio off,
passports ready and open to picture page,
turn the engine off when you get to the kiosk,
be polite, nothing wrong with a "good morning, how are you today?"

Clean up the interior of your vehicle before you go. Doesn't have to be spotless, but get rid of the drive through bags from last month and other garbage. If you are only going across the line for a few minutes or hours, travel light. Ask yourself, why am I carrying this to a foreign country?

I have to do a flag pole run next month and am dreading it. I'm going to take that ferry from Sidney to Pt Angeles then come back. No car.
Listen, don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Topper » Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:16 am

So one of the local guys has always been good to deal with at the border but I've met a few times around town and is a complete douchebag. Put it this way, there is a parent/tot teach your kid to skate twice a week session at the local rink that I was taking my guy to. This clown would show up with his 6 yr old kid who plays minor hockey, both in full gear and use the session as their personal practice time until rink staff finally gave them the boot.

Anyways, I'm in at my local mechanic yesterday scheduling some routine maintenance on my truck and the douchebag is there with his year old Tundra and a blown motor. He leaves and the mechanic laughs and tell me douchebag had an oil change at another shop, filter o-ring wasn't put on properly (shop stupidity) and he lost his oil and cooked the motor. Before the motor went and all the warning lights came on, he ignored them and kept driving (driver stupidity).

Couldn't happen to a nicer douchebag.
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Strangelove » Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:13 pm

Topper wrote:So one of the local guys has always been good to deal with at the border but I've met a few times around town and is a complete douchebag. Put it this way, there is a parent/tot teach your kid to skate twice a week session at the local rink that I was taking my guy to. This clown would show up with his 6 yr old kid who plays minor hockey, both in full gear and use the session as their personal practice time until rink staff finally gave them the boot.

Anyways, I'm in at my local mechanic yesterday scheduling some routine maintenance on my truck and the douchebag is there with his year old Tundra and a blown motor. He leaves and the mechanic laughs and tell me douchebag had an oil change at another shop, filter o-ring wasn't put on properly (shop stupidity) and he lost his oil and cooked the motor. Before the motor went and all the warning lights came on, he ignored them and kept driving (driver stupidity).

Couldn't happen to a nicer douchebag.


According to many conspiracy theorists this is the kind of post that often precedes a border-cross cavity-search.

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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Topper » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:21 pm

Did my US run yesterday. Returned with ~$260 worth of stuff, waived on through........ have a good day sir.

Seriously, who the fuck shows up at a parent/tot learn to skate in full equipment?

Only a douchebag.
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Strangelove » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:34 pm

Topper wrote:Did my US run yesterday. Returned with ~$260 worth of stuff, waived on through........ have a good day sir.

Seriously, who the fuck shows up at a parent/tot learn to skate in full equipment?

Only a douchebag.


Actually, we here at CSIS agree. :mex:

Have a good day sir.

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Re: Dear US Border Guards...

Postby Topper » Thu Aug 15, 2013 1:51 pm

Years ago CSIS had recruitment ads in the paper saying "send resume in confidence"......

I could only laugh, confidence .... a Canadian spy organization........ really, if they were doing their jobs, they should already have my CV
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
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