Joke Central

The primary goal of this site is to provide mature, meaningful discussion about the Vancouver Canucks. However, we all need a break some time so this forum is basically for anything off-topic, off the wall, or to just get something off your chest! This forum is named after poster Creeper, who passed away in July of 2011 and was a long time member of the Canucks message board community.

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Strangelove » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:46 pm

I dunno, Rummy.

Maybe Per is actually no dorkier than your average Swede.

Maybe they ARE in dire need of adopting toking as "socially acceptable" over there.

Every day for weeks I've been spotting news article like this one today:

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2013/05/26/305464/more-cars-torched-amid-sweden-protests/

More Cars Torched Amid Sweden Protests

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The suburbs of Sweden’s capital continue to witness angry protests as more cars have been torched and clashes have been reported between police and demonstrators. The protests began on May 19....


The silly fuckers don't even know what they're rioting about!

Actually, they probably need something a tad stronger than bong at this point...

Now, I've seen Sweden listed as the most atheistic country on Earth.

If religion is not the opiate of the Swedish masses, I say give em.... opiates! :mex:
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Rumsfeld » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:53 pm

I get the feeling that although Swedish women do tend to be hot, they don't put out easily. Like you can't just get them drunk and 20 minutes later [mod edit: TMI].

I blame these "progressive" Euro-societies that try to instill self-esteem in women.

Huge mistake. :mad:
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Strangelove » Wed Jun 05, 2013 2:27 pm

As I see it, the problem is those poor Swedish women are starving for real men.
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Topper » Wed Jun 05, 2013 2:29 pm

with golf clubs
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Per » Wed Jun 05, 2013 2:45 pm

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Jun 05, 2013 5:53 pm

Per wrote:
Smoking weed may be socially accepted in parts of North America, but in Scandinavia (outside of Denmark) it's not.
The only people who do it here are addicts, and the odd 20-something returning home after having lived in North America for some time. Thus the expression on his face.

Very true. My Swedish wife thinks worlds will collide if I smoke a J. It's viewed exactly the same as a spike in your mainline ffs.

She lives here now but will never understand our way of chillin out

Per whats with all this Muslim unrest there? It sounds like the UK now...your point of view?
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Uncle dans leg » Wed Jun 05, 2013 5:54 pm

Rumsfeld wrote:I get the feeling that although Swedish women do tend to be hot, they don't put out easily. Like you can't just get them drunk and 20 minutes later there's [mod edit: TMI].

I blame these "progressive" Euro-societies that try to instill self-esteem in women.

Huge mistake. :mad:

Wrong dude. Very cool in the sack ;)
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Topper » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:25 pm

Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black," the race balanced version of "Snow White," has been put on hold.

All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Pimp, and Wog have refused to sing "Hi Ho" because it offends black prostitutes.

They also say they have no fucking intention of singing "It's off to work we go."
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Arachnid » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:54 pm

Uncle dans leg wrote:
Rumsfeld wrote:I get the feeling that although Swedish women do tend to be hot, they don't put out easily. Like you can't just get them drunk and 20 minutes later there's [mod edit: TMI].

I blame these "progressive" Euro-societies that try to instill self-esteem in women.

Huge mistake. :mad:

Wrong dude. Very cool in the sack ;)


Rummy only likes playing family tree :wink:
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Re: Joke Central

Postby Eddy Punch Clock » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:17 pm

Strangelove wrote:As I see it, the problem is those poor Swedish women are starving for real men.


Well of course they are; ever seen a Swede's cock?

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Arachnid » Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:26 am

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Topper » Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:37 pm

A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get the nerve up to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says, "since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
The woman said "Hell no...get away from me...you’re a sicko!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.

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Re: Joke Central

Postby Strangelove » Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:43 pm

Fucker just ruined her day!
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Re: Joke Central

Postby BurningBeard » Fri Jan 10, 2014 11:44 pm

A giraffe walks into a bar and says, "The highballs are on me."
Every time I look out my window, same three dogs looking back at me.
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Re: Joke Central

Postby rats19 » Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:19 am

An 80 year old ex hooker waddles up to the bar. Orders a drink climbs up on the bar stool and slowly sinks to the floor..
You are who you hang with.....
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