Joke Central
Moderator: Referees
- Cousin Strawberry
- MVP
- Posts: 26187
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:19 pm
- Location: in the shed with a fresh packed bowl
Re: Joke Central
I know it' old but...
The newfies were really hoping Quebec was going to separate from Canada...it would've cut their drive to Tarana down by at least 5 hours
The newfies were really hoping Quebec was going to separate from Canada...it would've cut their drive to Tarana down by at least 5 hours
If you need air...call it in
Re: Joke Central
You say newfie, I say Norwegian.
Why do the Norwegians put birth control pills in the washer fluid?
Because then the windshield wipers don't need any rubber.
How can you see a Norwegian has borrowed your laptop?
There's liquid paper on the screen.
Why do the Norwegians put birth control pills in the washer fluid?
Because then the windshield wipers don't need any rubber.
How can you see a Norwegian has borrowed your laptop?
There's liquid paper on the screen.
Whatever you do, always give 100 %!
Except when donating blood.
Except when donating blood.
Re: Joke Central
Black guy strolls into KFC.
He's not Tiger Woods.
He's not Tiger Woods.
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.
I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
Re: Joke Central
Wife told me this morning that she hopes I develop throat cancer.
Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything.
I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete twats.
- Strangelove
- Moderator & MVP
- Posts: 42968
- Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 12:13 pm
- Location: Lake Vostok
Re: Joke Central
Topper wrote:Wife told me this morning that she hopes I develop throat cancer.
The odds of that are directly proportional to the number of partners.
So unless she's good with you being the village pussy whisperer....
____
Try to focus on someday.
Try to focus on someday.
Re: Joke Central
Holy shit that was lame!Per wrote:You say newfie, I say Norwegian.
Why do the Norwegians put birth control pills in the washer fluid?
Because then the windshield wipers don't need any rubber.
How can you see a Norwegian has borrowed your laptop?
There's liquid paper on the screen.
My cousin is married to a Norweigan, he's actually a lot like you. Thoughtful, polite, and BORING AS FUCK. I sparked up a joint on the porch at a dinner party five years ago and he looked like someone had a heroin rig dangling out of their arm.
I'm convinced there are no cool people whatsoever in Scandinavia.
Chairman of the Jim Benning Appreciation Society
Re: Joke Central
Whadya expect Rummy? They're a buncha Socialist Marx lovers after all.Rumsfeld wrote:Holy shit that was lame!Per wrote:You say newfie, I say Norwegian.
Why do the Norwegians put birth control pills in the washer fluid?
Because then the windshield wipers don't need any rubber.
How can you see a Norwegian has borrowed your laptop?
There's liquid paper on the screen.
My cousin is married to a Norweigan, he's actually a lot like you. Thoughtful, polite, and BORING AS FUCK. I sparked up a joint on the porch at a dinner party five years ago and he looked like someone had a heroin rig dangling out of their arm.
I'm convinced there are no cool people whatsoever in Scandinavia.
Re: Joke Central
Mëds you remind me of them good ol boys who want to get even with them turban wearing A-rabs what blowed up the world trade senterMëds wrote:Whadya expect Rummy? They're a buncha Socialist Marx lovers after all.Rumsfeld wrote:Holy shit that was lame!Per wrote:You say newfie, I say Norwegian.
Why do the Norwegians put birth control pills in the washer fluid?
Because then the windshield wipers don't need any rubber.
How can you see a Norwegian has borrowed your laptop?
There's liquid paper on the screen.
My cousin is married to a Norweigan, he's actually a lot like you. Thoughtful, polite, and BORING AS FUCK. I sparked up a joint on the porch at a dinner party five years ago and he looked like someone had a heroin rig dangling out of their arm.
I'm convinced there are no cool people whatsoever in Scandinavia.
Re: Joke Central
But thay dun blode it up reel gud tho
I rakki suns a biches
I rakki suns a biches
Chairman of the Jim Benning Appreciation Society
- Eddy Punch Clock
- CC Hall of Fan Member
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- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:35 am
- Location: The Wack
Re: Joke Central
Y'all just reminded me of a joke what I done heard the other day...Rumsfeld wrote:But thay dun blode it up reel gud tho
I rakki suns a biches
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.'
The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit?
The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer said, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere.
The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer said,'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere'
The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.'
By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question .The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.'
2011..... the one that got away.
Re: Joke Central
Ok.ukcanuck wrote:Mëds you remind me of them good ol boys who want to get even with them turban wearing A-rabs what blowed up the world trade senterMëds wrote:Whadya expect Rummy? They're a buncha Socialist Marx lovers after all.Rumsfeld wrote: Holy shit that was lame!
My cousin is married to a Norweigan, he's actually a lot like you. Thoughtful, polite, and BORING AS FUCK. I sparked up a joint on the porch at a dinner party five years ago and he looked like someone had a heroin rig dangling out of their arm.
I'm convinced there are no cool people whatsoever in Scandinavia.
Ass hat.
Re: Joke Central
An astute observation. The climate is cool, but people are generally hot.Rumsfeld wrote: I'm convinced there are no cool people whatsoever in Scandinavia.
Last edited by Per on Wed Jun 05, 2013 3:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Whatever you do, always give 100 %!
Except when donating blood.
Except when donating blood.
Re: Joke Central
As for the drug thingy: http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/bsp/hi ... unicef.pdf
Go to page 32, figure 5.2 c.
More than 40% of Canadian kids age 11,13 and 15 polled reported to have used cannabis in the last twelve months!
The corresponding figure for Sweden was less than 5%. No figure availablefor Norway.
Smoking weed may be socially accepted in parts of North America, but in Scandinavia (outside of Denmark) it's not.
The only people who do it here are addicts, and the odd 20-something returning home after having lived in North America for some time. Thus the expression on his face.
Go to page 32, figure 5.2 c.
More than 40% of Canadian kids age 11,13 and 15 polled reported to have used cannabis in the last twelve months!
The corresponding figure for Sweden was less than 5%. No figure availablefor Norway.
Smoking weed may be socially accepted in parts of North America, but in Scandinavia (outside of Denmark) it's not.
The only people who do it here are addicts, and the odd 20-something returning home after having lived in North America for some time. Thus the expression on his face.
Whatever you do, always give 100 %!
Except when donating blood.
Except when donating blood.
Re: Joke Central
Yeah I highly doubt that. By addicts you must mean hard drug addicts, and hard drug addicts don't have cash to blow on herb... especially if it's rare, and therefore more expensive, in your awful little country.Per wrote: The only people who do it here are addicts
Maybe you're just a giant dork even by the dorky standards of Sweden and therefore don't know any people who smoke weed... thus giving you the impression it's something only used by "addicts".
Chairman of the Jim Benning Appreciation Society