Relationship problems

[SKYO]

No not with hookers, but yeah my ex of two years now, mother of my kids, has now proceeded to move to Calgary from Vancouver with both of my kids in a month.

I can legally stop her easy days with court ordered papers, however a few of you know this is my psycho ex, a person who has a incredible hulk like insane jealousy side of her, that is like Jekyll and Hyde.

Anyways I let it slip out that I slept with another woman after a year of us being broken up (separated 2 years now), meanwhile it's known she has slept with a few dudes, yet she is still blowing up mad!!! threatening me with death/stabbing me in the face and getting people after me to beat me up.

I have a family friend whose part of the VPD who said it's a slam dunk criminal harassment charge I can pursue.

Meeting with my lawyer to discuss my possibilities tomorrow, I don't really want my kids seeing their mother in jail, nor do I want to force the mother to stay in a city she hates, as she has no family here, so she can resent me even further, then create my living hell with her into Armageddon.

So I'm stuck in a huge bind cc bros.

Where's that bang head against a brick wall emoticon?

[ukcanuck]

No not with hookers, but yeah my ex of two years now, mother of my kids, has now proceeded to move to Calgary from Vancouver with both of my kids in a month.

I can legally stop her easy days with court ordered papers, however a few of you know this is my psycho ex, a person who has a incredible hulk like insane jealousy side of her, that is like Jekyll and Hyde.

Anyways I let it slip out that I slept with another woman after a year of us being broken up (separated 2 years now), meanwhile it's known she has slept with a few dudes, yet she is still blowing up mad!!! threatening me with death/stabbing me in the face and getting people after me to beat me up.

I have a family friend whose part of the VPD who said it's a slam dunk criminal harassment charge I can pursue.

Meeting with my lawyer to discuss my possibilities tomorrow, I don't really want my kids seeing their mother in jail, nor do I want to force the mother to stay in a city she hates, as she has no family here, so she can resent me even further, then create my living hell with her into Armageddon.

So I'm stuck in a huge bind cc bros.

Where's that bang head against a brick wall emoticon?

I am sorry brother, that surely does suck... the wrong woman is hell on earth

Cant say what the smart thing is but i know what I would do, fuck the bitch, make her stay put and don't lose your kids.
You let them go to calgary, you wont see em much, over time she'll fill their heads with poison and you'll see them less, and eventually, when they are older they wont know you, blame you for God knows what, and to top it off they will be Calgarians and flames fans.

[damonberryman]

This is a very personal issue and it has got to be eating your lunch. If she truly is a mentally ill, and if it is as bad as you say, the phrase 'borderline personality disorder' comes to mind. You can look it up in what is called the DSM (Diagnostic and statistical manual) or go on line with 'borderline symptoms' as your search tag.

Of course, none of this is going to help in the long run so I suggest you look at it from your kids' POV. What would they want you to do? How do you want them to think of you and so on. Do NOT go to war with this kind of person, including orders of protection and so on. You and the kids will lose.

IT might be more profitable for you to simply step back from the situation and let all your focus be on your kids. Go for a separation agreement that includes multiple visits at your home (she should be responsible for air fare) on many weekends and every second major holiday. This would include Xmas and that WILL put a bun up her arse.

One of my kids was pretty much dominated by her mother after we divorced. I found life much easier to live if I focused on what was good for her and not my own pain as I had a lot of it. Going to court is a serious step if you are filing criminal charges. I do not know how old your kids are but it is our job as fathers to suck it up and be there as much as possible.

I am afraid this is not a fix but it is all I got. I am sorry for the pain you are going through. It must suck. It did for me.

[Arachnid]

A boy named Sue once told me,'it does not take two to argue, it only takes one....it takes two to compromise'.

I strongly recommend of not going to court. As mentioned above, you will fuck up your kids beyond belief.

Keep your eyes on the prize! Meaning, focus on your kids needs and not your ex.

This is what worked for me.

Have you even considered moving to Alberta? Rats did it and he HATES Alberta beef! For the love of his kid.

Sometimes in life we have to make small sacrifices for the greater good. This is why I slept with all 5 of Doc's daughters...so they would know the heartbeat of a communist

That's it man, good luck and always remember to seek advice and help. The wisest man knows when to ask.

[dbr]

What's in Calgary - does your ex have (sane) family members there who will support her and your children?

For that matter, is your ex's batshit behaviour something your kids are ever exposed to?

I would say that if there's any chance that she is putting your kids into a worse situation than they're in now (or that they're subjected to the antics you've described here and elsewhere) that you should take the slam dunk case while you've got it and keep them local.

Sucks for her that she's stuck outside of her hometown, but them's the breaks when you break up with the parent of your kid - if they have a right to custody then you can't very well leave (unless you're giving up your own rights). She shoulda dragged you to Calgary before things went off the rails.

[rats19]

forget you.........forget her....what is best for the kids.....when you and the ex are out of the equation you might find the right answer

good luck my friend

[Potatoe1]

Psycho or not, I wouldn't let her take the kids to Calgary.

[Listercat]

First of all do you have a separation agreement that details child support and custody? If not you best get one and do not accept anything less than joint custody. If you allow her full custody she'll rule the roost. If you have clear evidence that she is bat shit crazy go for full custody. How old are the kids? if they are 12 or older I believe the Judge can ask them who they would prefer to live with. I went through this years ago. My ex tried her best to turn the kids against me while I never belittled her in front of them. She ended up paying the price down the road when the kids learned the truth. The kids need to know you are there for them and the problem is not them. If you have other family support where you are that can help. If the kids are in an unsafe situation with their mother you can get Family Services involved as well. Been through that with my nieces. Their mother was bat shit crazy and a druggie. Get the nastiest lawyer you can find because it sounds like because it can get ugly when you are dealing with a non rational person.

[Cornuck]

Can you, or do you want to, get full custody of the kids? Sounds like that would be best for everyone.

[SKYO]

Some of you are right, however I will not formerly charge her, but I will report what she did to the police, so at least what she did is and will be with the judge.

We do not have a separation agreement in place, and because of what she is trying to pull I might have to force one, that at least includes access.

Thanks cc bros'.

[Topper]

Rat poison.

[SKYO]

lol.

In time I'll probably just move to Calgary and see if I can get a higher paying job for what I do now.

Even though it seems too cowboy & indians like over there.

[Strangelove]

In time I'll probably just move to Calgary and see if I can get a higher paying job for what I do now.

Even though it seems too cowboy & indians like over there.

Rednecks & redskins.

[CFP!]

Do whats best for your kids, get a court order agreement. (not through FMEP)

Trust me, I never did, it sucked for me my family and my son and then ultimately found out the kid wasn't mine anyways after 8 years. (and $46K of child support lost to the wind)

Get the agreement, if she cant pay for a lawyer do it anyways. Until then you have no rights.

[ukcanuck]

In time I'll probably just move to Calgary and see if I can get a higher paying job for what I do now.

Even though it seems too cowboy & indians like over there.

Rednecks & redskins.

That's why the flames and stamps colours is red !