>Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
>her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,
>and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the
>ball, but only on two conditions.
>"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
>"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
>into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking
>love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turned into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
>"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other..."
>Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
>splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
>Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
>sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks
>later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him,
>"How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied,
>"Who needs a girlfriend?"
>RED RIDING HOOD
>Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the
>Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a Sword to her throat,
>said "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red
>Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and
>pointed it at him and said,
>"No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the