http://thetwolinepass.com/2008/07/the-l ... -gluttony/
The long history of Russian players succumbing to North American gluttony
"I can't wait to get back to the bench and have a dog with the works!"
Vladimir Krutov a legend in Vancouver and Russia alike.
In communist Russia, Krutov was a goal-scoring monster. He netted 288 in 417 games over his 12 seasons in the Russian Super League back when half the best players in the world played in it. He also won Olympic gold twice, in 1984 and ‘88, as well as five World Championships, two World Junior titles, and a Canada Cup. He had 185 career points in 136 games in all international competition for Mother Russia.
Then he was one of the first players to jump to the NHL when the Iron Curtain began to crumble, and the results were not so good: 11-23-34 in 61 games.
That might have had something to do with his training.
However, Krutov did not have a successful season, battling homesickness and weight problems (the latter leading to the unflattering nicknames Vladimir Crouton and Vlad the Inhaler).
That’s never a sentence you want on your wikipedia page.
He was generously listed as 5-foot-9 and about 195 pounds at the height of his fitness. There are a few hilarious urban legends about him.
My buddy Ligur typed of this brief history of the Krutov era in Vancouver (I was going to retype this, but it was told too masterfully):
“He was the best player we have ever had” -Anatoli Tarasov, sometime in the ’80s.
But when he arrived to camp in Vancouver he weighed at least 220 and had not trained at all. Upon reaching U.S. soil, it is said the first thing he did was find a McDonald’s. He especially enjoyed hot dogs, which he consumed with gusto whenever he could find them, thinking nothing of eating ten or more at a time. Of all the Soviet greats, Krutov was the worst fit for his new Capitalist home. He was overwhelmed by western lifestyle and lack of regimentation from his organization. He actually continued to get MORE out of shape as his season in Vancouver progressed!
Igor Larionov said in his book that tried to change Krutov’s eating habits, but Krutov was unable to limit his insatiable hunger. In fact, Igor Larionov was laughed at during the ’80s for refusing huge portions of meat and potatoes with vodka, and maybe this is why Larionov, with Fetisov, both the most independent and rebellious players on the Red Machine team, were the players with the most extensive and successful careers in the NHL. They were able to control themselves. Krutov and Makarov both made a bad impression on their arrival to the NHL because of their penchant to overeat when given the chance.
And chances Krutov had. Durig the Soviet Era, the “Little Tank”, despite battling weight issues through his career, was kept in check by the militant coaching staffs of the national team and ZSKA lead by Colonel Viktor Tihonov but in America, land of the free, there was nobody to tell him what to do. So he decided to eat.
“His usual routine was to stop at a 7-eleven Store and order two hot dogs, a bag of potato chips and a soft drink. After practice, he would return for a second order.” - a former Canucks Head Coach
He loved the American fast food, socializing with Russian-speaking friends outside the NHL organization and the freely available alcohol, which he consumed to get over his terrible homesickness. It is also rumoured was administered “special” shots by doctors in Soviet Union which contributed to his exceptional strength but these could easily be, and probably are, unfounded as unlimited feasting on Capitalist food and eight hotdogs with double relish and mayo at a time is enough explanation for his poor performances.
After his short stint in Vancouver he went to Switzerland and then to Östersund IK, first in the Swedish 4th and then 3rd division, where he could gorge himself freely until he one day collapsed the D-section stands leaving a rink after a practice*.
*possibly not exactly true
I don’t know if there’s ever been a more endearing story in the history of hockey.
This reminded me, too, of the famous Evgeni Malkin story wherein Malkin was supposed to do a conference call about scoring goals in each of his first six games. “I want pizza,” he said. So they got him pizza, and he’s used it as kind of an offhand “I don’t know” response ever since.
But as far as Russians and their love of food, my favorite story ever not surprisingly involves the wonderful Ilya Bryzgalov:
“I had a meeting with (Ed Jovanovski) about the All-Star Game and (Ilya Bryzgalov) walks in on us,” Coyotes coach Wayne Gretzky said Monday. “I said, ‘Give me five minutes,’ and I’m thinking, ‘This must be serious. Is he upset I pulled him early or something?’ “So he goes, ‘In Russia they say you eat a hot dog before every game. True?’ I’m thinking, ‘Huh?’ “
Somehow, the first thing Krutov said to reporters when arriving in North America (”I like… Hot dog and drink vodka!”) doesn’t have that same charm coming from a man who clearly does.
Vlad the Inhaler? Haha
