Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media" (or "Idiots" as Torts calls them)

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DavidPratt_
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by DavidPratt_ »

ukcanuck wrote:
DavidPratt_ wrote:
ukcanuck wrote:DAVE, FUCK OFF WOTH THE CAPS YOU ARE NOTHING SPECIAL HERE.

And Jesus what's wrong with your grammar dude? You're supposed to do this for a living ...

Oh and no poker is not a sport!
WHATEVER MORON

http://youtu.be/uIPS4LyveJs

DP

Anyway,

Congratulations on the new job dave, try not to fuck it up this time eh?
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU HELPED START A BUSINESS THAT WAS LOSING MONEY AND WORKED YOUR ASS OFF TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. ONE DAY YOU HAVE NO PRO SPORTS BROADCASTS FOR THIS BUSINESS. OVER TIME, DUE TO HARD WORK AND A LOT OF ENTERTAINMENT AND A GROWING AUDIENCE, THE LIONS ARE BEING BROADCAST BY YOUR BUSINESS. THEN YOU GET THE CANUCKS, FOLLOWED BY OTHER SPORTS TEAMS LIKE THE WHITECAPS. YOUR BUSINESS IS HAULING IN MAJOR ADVERTISEMENT DOLLARS AND YOUR AFTERNOON SHOW IS #1 IN ITS TIMESLOT....

....AND ALL YOU WANT IS A PIECE OF THE ACTION, BECAUSE THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT DAVE BUILT......AND YOU ARE SHOWN THE DOOR AND HAVE TO SPEND NEARLY SIX MONTHS IN YOUR YALETOWN CONDO DREAMING UP NEW SEGMENTS WITH NEW GUESTS WHILE DRINKING CROWN AND GINGERS UNTIL YOU WAKE UP EACH MORNING WITH A HANGOVER AND THE HUSTLER CHANNEL BLARING ON YOUR 52" PLASMA. YOU COME BACK TO THE MARKET, AND BROADCAST YOUR SHOW ON A STATION WHERE HALF THE LISTENERS GO FOR THE "EARLY BIRD DINNER" AFTER PLAYING LAWN BOWLING AT THE RETIREMENT HOME. YOU'RE ON THE RADIO....BUT IT AIN'T THE SAME.....

GUESS WHAT JERKOFF? I AM BACK BABY.

READY TO RANT
READY TO CHASE COUGARS ATJOE FORTES
AND YES KIDS.....

POKER IS A SPORT

IN THE WORDS OF KOJAK, "WHO LOVES YA BABY?"

DP
Last edited by DavidPratt_ on Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.
VANCOUVER'S SEXIEST BROADCASTER AND COUGAR HUNTER

*OPINIONS EXRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR, AND THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF ©BELL MEDIA*

WATCH THE DAVID PRATT SHOW W/BRO JAKE 6-10 AM, M-F ON THE TEAM 1040
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by Rumsfeld »

I don't think you can technically call them cougars if you're older than they are.

Great physique for radio though.
DP
Uh, yeah I'm gonna have to take a rain check on the DP Dave, thanks anyway...
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by DavidPratt_ »

I DEFINE COUGARS AS 40+ LADIES ON THE PROWL LOOKING FOR A LITTLE TUBE-STEAK BOOGIE (TO QUOTE ZZ TOP). THAT'S WHAT I SHAG ON A REGULAR BASIS BUDDY. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME. UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE NOT RICH AND FAMOUS. I'M SURE YOU THINK YOU LOOK GOOD ON HOCKEY DISCUSSION BOARDS THOUGH. MAYBE YOU COULD HOOK UP WITH A VIRTUAL BOARD MEMBER?

DP
VANCOUVER'S SEXIEST BROADCASTER AND COUGAR HUNTER

*OPINIONS EXRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR, AND THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF ©BELL MEDIA*

WATCH THE DAVID PRATT SHOW W/BRO JAKE 6-10 AM, M-F ON THE TEAM 1040
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by ukcanuck »

DavidPratt_ wrote:
ukcanuck wrote:
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU HELPED START A BUSINESS THAT WAS LOSING MONEY AND WORKED YOUR ASS OFF TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. ONE DAY YOU HAVE NO PRO SPORTS BROADCASTS FOR THIS BUSINESS. SUDDENLY, DUE TO HARD WORK AND A LOT OF ENTERTAINMENT, THE LIONS ARE BEING BROADCAST BY YOUR BUSINESS. THEN YOU GET THE CANUCKS. YOUR BUSINESS IS HAULING IN MAJOR ADVERTISING DOLLARS AND YOUR AFTERNOON SHOW IS #1 IN ITS TIMESLOT....

....AND ALL YOU WANT IS A PIECE OF THE ACTION......AND YOU ARE SHOWN THE DOOR AND HAVE TO SPEND NEARLY SIX MONTHS IN YOUR YALETOWN CONDO DREAMING UP NEW SEGMENTS WITH NEW GUESTS WHILE DRINKING CROWN AND GINGERS UNTIL YOU WAKE UP NEXT MORNING WITH A HANGOVER. YOU COME BACK TO THE MARKET, AND BROADCAST YOUR SHOW ON A STATION WHERE HALF THE LISTENERS GO FOR THE "EARLY BIRD DINNER" AFTER PLAYING LAWN BOWLING AT THE RETIREMENT HOME.

GUESS WHAT JERKOFF? I AM BACK BABY.

READY TO RANT
READY TO CHASE COUGARS ATJOE FORTES
AND YES KIDS.....

POKER IS A SPORT

IN THE WORDS OF KOJAK, "WHO LOVES YA BABY?"

DP
I absolutely sympathize, however to further my point, you have to ask yourself why did the station figure they could get along without you?
Clearly you have more support with the public than the suits at The Team thought you had, but the point is they thought you didn't have enough that they would miss you. Thats the point I think you should be heeding. You need more friends not less and I'm telling you: THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD BETRAYS ANY FAKE HUMILITY YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PEDDLE.

Ps explain how poker can be a sport with no physical component, (sitting on your ass for hours doesn't count or a long haul truck driver is an athlete)
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by ukcanuck »

DavidPratt_ wrote:I DEFINE COUGARS AS 40+ LADIES ON THE PROWL LOOKING FOR A LITTLE TUBE-STEAK BOOGIE (TO QUOTE ZZ TOP). THAT'S WHAT I SHAG ON A REGULAR BASIS BUDDY. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME. UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE NOT RICH AND FAMOUS. I'M SURE YOU THINK YOU LOOK GOOD ON HOCKEY DISCUSSION BOARDS THOUGH. MAYBE YOU COULD HOOK UP WITH A VIRTUAL BOARD MEMBER?

DP
I didnt know you had to be rich or famous to shag desperate middle aged women. All you need for that is a clean shirt, be able to drink a beer without getting it allover the shirt and be able to hold a conversation without looking at their boobs.

I guess if your famous you can get away without all that...
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by Tciso »

DavidPratt_ wrote:
ukcanuck wrote:DAVE, FUCK OFF WITH THE CAPS YOU ARE NOTHING SPECIAL HERE.

And Jesus what's wrong with your grammar dude? You're supposed to do this for a living ...

Oh and no poker is not a sport!
WHATEVER MORON
DP
Dave, just some friendly advice. You look like an absolute amateur using caps, and insulting your target audience. How you keep your job is a mystery to me. But, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, KEEP USING CAPS, CUZ IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO SPOT AND IGNORE YOUR POSTS without reading them.

I mean, with RD, you either have to look at the poster's name, or read the drivel to figure out that he wrote it, and then ignore it (by that time, it's too late). But, your caps are like a flat chested woman. Easy to ignore from a distance.
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by Rumsfeld »

DavidPratt_ wrote:I DEFINE COUGARS AS 40+ LADIES ON THE PROWL LOOKING FOR A LITTLE TUBE-STEAK BOOGIE (TO QUOTE ZZ TOP). THAT'S WHAT I SHAG ON A REGULAR BASIS BUDDY. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME. UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE NOT RICH AND FAMOUS.

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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by DavidPratt_ »

ukcanuck wrote: I absolutely sympathize, however to further my point, you have to ask yourself why did the station figure they could get along without you?
Clearly you have more support with the public than the suits at The Team thought you had, but the point is they thought you didn't have enough that they would miss you. Thats the point I think you should be heeding. You need more friends not less and I'm telling you: THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD BETRAYS ANY FAKE HUMILITY YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PEDDLE.

Ps explain how poker can be a sport with no physical component, (sitting on your ass for hours doesn't count or a long haul truck driver is an athlete)
WHY DID THE STATION FIGURE THEY COULD GET ALONG WITHOUT ME? THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

ANSWER: WHO ENDED UP ASKING ME TO COME BACK?

AS FOR POKER - THE ENTIRE MENTAL GAME BEHIND POKER IS TRULY AMAZING. POKER REQUIRES STRATEGY AND BRAIN POWER....A LOT MORE THAN SOME OF THE 'PHYSICAL' SPORTS OUT THERE. THERE'S A REASON WHY ESPN BROADCASTS POKER.

DP
VANCOUVER'S SEXIEST BROADCASTER AND COUGAR HUNTER

*OPINIONS EXRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR, AND THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF ©BELL MEDIA*

WATCH THE DAVID PRATT SHOW W/BRO JAKE 6-10 AM, M-F ON THE TEAM 1040
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by dbr »

Same reason they broadcast spelling bees, I guess.
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by ukcanuck »

DavidPratt_ wrote:
ukcanuck wrote: I absolutely sympathize, however to further my point, you have to ask yourself why did the station figure they could get along without you?
Clearly you have more support with the public than the suits at The Team thought you had, but the point is they thought you didn't have enough that they would miss you. Thats the point I think you should be heeding. You need more friends not less and I'm telling you: THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD BETRAYS ANY FAKE HUMILITY YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PEDDLE.

Ps explain how poker can be a sport with no physical component, (sitting on your ass for hours doesn't count or a long haul truck driver is an athlete)
WHY DID THE STATION FIGURE THEY COULD GET ALONG WITHOUT ME? THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

ANSWER: WHO ENDED UP ASKING ME TO COME BACK?

AS FOR POKER - THE ENTIRE MENTAL GAME BEHIND POKER IS TRULY AMAZING. POKER REQUIRES STRATEGY AND BRAIN POWER....A LOT MORE THAN SOME OF THE 'PHYSICAL' SPORTS OUT THERE. THERE'S A REASON WHY ESPN BROADCASTS POKER.

DP
I suppose you could misinterpret their hiring you back as your arrogant Schtick working lol.
The Titanic was unsinkable too, just ask the dead guy who ordered up more speed that night... :D

Re poker, that only explains why poker is an awesome game. chess is even more difficult and even Dungeon and dragons is a tough game to play, but to be a sport there has to be a physical element to it.

When the IOC includes it as a sport mayne you'll have an argument and doesn't ESPN broadcast dog shows?
( maybe that's just their puppet station TSN? )
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by Tciso »

dbr wrote:Same reason they broadcast spelling bees, I guess.
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by Strangelove »

ukcanuck wrote:
DavidPratt_ wrote:I DEFINE COUGARS AS 40+ LADIES ON THE PROWL LOOKING FOR A LITTLE TUBE-STEAK BOOGIE (TO QUOTE ZZ TOP). THAT'S WHAT I SHAG ON A REGULAR BASIS BUDDY. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOME TIME. UNFORTUNATELY YOU'RE NOT RICH AND FAMOUS. I'M SURE YOU THINK YOU LOOK GOOD ON HOCKEY DISCUSSION BOARDS THOUGH. MAYBE YOU COULD HOOK UP WITH A VIRTUAL BOARD MEMBER?

DP
I didnt know you had to be rich or famous to shag desperate middle aged women. All you need for that is a clean shirt, be able to drink a beer without getting it allover the shirt and be able to hold a conversation without looking at their boobs.

I guess if your famous you can get away without all that...
:mrgreen:
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Try to focus on someday.
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by DavidPratt_ »

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. RE-PRINTING MY RANT FROM JULY, 2011:

************************
THE CITY OF VANCOUVER…

NOW…KNOWN AS…”THE BIG JOKE”…

LAST NIGHT AT THE ESPYS IN LOS ANGELES…

THE HOST OF THE SHOW SETH MYERS USED VANCOUVER…AND THE STANLEY CUP RIOT AS A PUNCHLINE…IN HIS OPENING MONOLOGUE…

AS MYERS PUT IT…”IT’S AMAZING WHAT MAKES WHITE PEOPLE RIOT”…

“HOW IS THAT ICING???”

“BURN IT DOWN!!!”

THEN WITH HIS BEST CANADAIN ACCENT…MEYERS WENT ONTO SAY…

“IT WAS A CANADIAN RIOT…VERY POLITE”…

“EXCUSE ME SIR IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE…I’M GOING TO FLIP YOUR CAR OVER AND SET IT ON FIRE…EH”…

“LET’S REMEMBER…CLEAN UP STARTS TOMORROW AT 9 AM SHARP…WE’RE AN ANGRY MOB…WE ARE NOT ANIMALS…EH”…

MEYERS GOT SOME LAUGHS…BUT THERE WAS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS CITY A MONTH AGO…

HARD TO BELIEVE THAT TOMORROW…IT WILL BE A MONTH THAT THE RIOT TOOK PLACE…

HARD TO BELIEVE…BECAUSE WE STILL DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO…”THE” MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION…

HOW MANY POLICE DID CITY HALL PUT ON THE STREETS TO PROTECT THE 100 THOUSAND PEOPLE…THE MAYOR INVITE TO HIS PARTY???

IN FACT…GREGOR ROBERTSON CONTINUES TO REFUSE TO ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY…WHAT SO EVER…

STANDING BY HIS CLAIM…”I DIDN’T KNOW ANY DETAILS”…

WHICH LEADS US TO ONLY TWO CONCLUSIONS:

1) ROBERTSON IS INCOMPENTENT…AND SHOULD RESIGN…

2) ROBBERTSON IS LYING…AND SHOULD RESIGN…

INSTEAD TODAY…CITY HALL SPENT ALL OF IT’S TIME SELLING IT’S…”GREENEST CITY…ACTION PLAN”…

IT’S A 162 PAGE REPORT THAT WAS PUT TOGETHER BEHIND CLOSED DOORS…

A REPORT WHICH NO ONE…INCLUDING THE MAYOR…KNOWS HOW MUCH IT IS GOING TO COST…

HERE’S WHAT WE DO KNOW… THE MONEY CAN ONLY COME FROM 2 PLACES…

HIGHER TAXES…AND REDUCED SERVICES…

THANKS TO THE “BIKE LANES”…

THIS YEAR WE GOT OUR FIRST TASTE OF…HIGHER TAXES…

AND LAST MONTH OUR FIRST TASTE OF REDUCED SERVICES…IN THE FORMER OF FEWER POLICE…

WHICH LED DIRECTLY TO…”THE RIOT”…

JOHN FURLONG AND DOUG KEEFE ARE NOW LEADING THE PROVINCIAL INVESIGATION INTO THAT RIOT…

THEIR REPORT IS EXPECTED…BY THE END OF AUGUST…

WE’LL SEE THEN…WHO’S LAUGHING

PRATT OUT
VANCOUVER'S SEXIEST BROADCASTER AND COUGAR HUNTER

*OPINIONS EXRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHOR, AND THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF ©BELL MEDIA*

WATCH THE DAVID PRATT SHOW W/BRO JAKE 6-10 AM, M-F ON THE TEAM 1040
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by CFP! »

I have to say, listening to Angus Reid and his views on multiple sports on the TEAM he is going to quickly become a great sidekick broadcaster.

Really enjoying his takes and honesty.
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Re: Vancouver's Hockey "Media"

Post by ukcanuck »

It doesn't matter whether not this chump is pratt or a sock or whatever...

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