Yep. It was the day I decided that there was really no point in trying to deny the paternity of my son, simply to duck support payments to another Ex. After all, this particular DNA evidence was far more iron-clad than anything raised at the OJ trial.
You see, first Meerschaum Jr. had taken the scissors to his little sister's Kermit the Frog doll. Then he carefully laid out the pieces of green felt across the kitchen table. He scribbled out some numbers on them in a red magic marker, and then proudly announced "HEY DAD, LET'S PLAY SOME CRAPS!"
Yeah, my nine-year-old son has a weakness for 'dem bones.
Some kids memorize their multiplication tables. He memorizes the odds and percentage house advantage on proposition bets.
He's actually called me on my cell-phone while I was ensconced at the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas, to ask me how my luck had been at the tables. Then chewed me out!!! "C'mon Dad. Don't be stupid! The true odds for rolling Any Craps is 8-1, but with a 7-1 payoff that gives the house a 11.1% advantage. Just throw my college tuition down the toilet, why don'tcha."
Oh, the travails of being a rotten parent.
But, this story has really just been a roundabout way of explaining how I kinda feel about the 06/07 'Nucks season which starts tonight.
Boys and girls - my son would love this. It's gonna be a goddamned crapshoot.
Sure, we may hit the two or twelve, let it ride, hit it again and turn a lowly dollar into $900! But, we could be throwing sevens right after the come out roll.
None of our forward lines from last season are intact and only one defensive pairing is the same. Our pre-season was all about experimenting with the line-up.
So what can we expect this season?
Who the hell knows? This team is an absolutely untested commodity.
Traditionally, I begin each season explaining why our squad . . . is doomed.
This year, however, I can't make my usual pessimistic prediction. Not because I'm optimistic. No, siree. But, because nobody in their right mind could possibly say they've got a handle on this squad at this point.
So, let the stickman give the dice one last turn . . . and roll 'em.